Tag Archives: Mississippi State University

#BREAKING: MARSHALL HENDERSON IS MARSHALL HENDERSON FOR HIS OWN PERFORMANCE ART THESIS

In a daring and unflinching confession, Marshall Henderson admitted just moments ago to an anonymous Luckswing source that his entire life has been a culmination of the most avant of avant-garde performance art, episodes of which he will later be re-enacting as his senior thesis installation on the Ole Miss campus, and later at the Met in New York.

Henderson tells our insider that, at an early age, he was inspired by the life of Boy George and galvanized by the emergence of Lady Gaga. Viewing himself as the natural successor of Yoko Ono and Carolee Schneemann, he is “proud to carry on their tradition, and elevate it to American sports.”

“Gesticulating wildly has always come easily to me,” Henderson told Luckswing’s source. “Becoming a performance artist, becoming ‘Marshall Henderson,’ or at least, his artistic subconsciousness projected upon the plane of subjective reality for all the world to witness from the comfort of their bourgeois vantage was the most natural thing for me–like taking too many shots,”

Allegedly, Henderson’s  drug abuse and recent rash of inflammatory antics has been part of the drawn out narrative he has created for himself. He went far as to intimate he may have been the real brains behind the Manti Te’o “catfishing” incident.

“You know I hate to classify myself in a particular way. Saying I’m a performance artist is so stifling, but truly, I am a visionary. I perform. I’m an artist.”

#BREAKING: MARSHALL HENDERSON PLEDGES ALLEGIANCE TO THE CONFEDERATE FLAG EVERY DAY FOR FRIEND’S US HISTORY THESIS

According to proudly racist sources at Mississippi State University, Marshall Henderson has flashed his rebelliousness yet again, pledging allegiance to the Confederate flag every day for his entire collegiate career  at Ole Miss.

Henderson claims he is participating in this project as part of his friend’s US History thesis.

#BREAKINGUPDATE:

I have received confirmation from multiple sources in and around Ole Miss that this is in fact a  regular occurrence for all MSU students, staff and nearly all residents around the Oxford area. And that Confederate Rebels are in fact the Ole Miss mascot.

The following photograph is a student protest of President Barack Obama’s reelection in 2012:

Correction: The above photograph was taken during MSU’s last home football game.

 

#BREAKING: MARSHALL HENDERSON KILLS GOD FOR FRIEND’S RELIGIOUS STUDIES THESIS

According to a Source uncomfortably close with divinity, Marshall Henderson got into an altercation with God at approximately 2 A.M last night outside a strip club in Jackson, Mississippi.

It has been reported that Henderson purposefully engaged in inflammatory and violent behavior for a friend’s Religious Studies thesis. It escalated quickly, however, and  many witnessed what proved to be a tragically violent end to God.

“There was lightning and storms and shit. It was crazy,” said one bystander. “But that scrawny little dude pulled out an AK and popped God a good one!”

Some wept. Some cheered. Many were stunned at God’s death. Authorities, however, were baffled when they arrived to the scene as there was no body, and by their estimation no crime.

“He [Henderson] provoked him,” said Luckswing’s Source who provided information on the condition that we provide readers with lyrics to “O Little Town Of Bethlehem” and make it very, very, very clear He has not yet returned but He plans to and He’s coming for you first, Adam Sandler. “He took the Lord’s name in vain. He bore false witness, coveted his neighbor’s house, wife and male servant. Marshall broke every commandment, and a did some thing’s I honestly didn’t even know were sins.”

Fearing eternal damnation, the friend whom Henderson engaged with God for refused to comment.

 

#BREAKING: MARSHALL HENDERSON IMPREGNATES, ABANDONS DOZENS OF TEEN GIRLS FOR SINGLE MOM’S SOCIOLOGY THESIS

According to sources familiar with the random impregnation of young females, Marshall Henderson has spent the last few weeks seducing, fornicating with and impregnating dozens of teen girls throughout the State of Mississippi.

For Henderson, this excercise has been a extension of his continued contribution to Academia. He has gone through this painful exercise at the behest of a Sociology graduate student, who is herself a single mother who birthed her child at 19.

“We had initially planned to just stick with the freshman class here at Ole Miss–maybe one or two. But clearly, he’s gotten a bit out of hand. The boy can’t keep it in his pants,” said the single mom responsible for the thesis, who spoke to Luckswing on the condition of anonymity.

“Initially, he was wary of the idea, but agreed to it because he loves cuddling. Who would’ve guessed?” She continued, “Well aww shucks, I guess we done got ourselves a fat cow of a sample size now!”